Points! to the Bride and Groom

On September 12th, Chris Hardwick, of Nerdist fame, got engaged to Lydia Hearst, model and actress of…Hearst fame. It’s my favorite celeb pairing of all time.

Chris Hardwick, left, and Lydia Hearst arrive at the Los Angeles premiere of "Avengers: Age Of Ultron" at the Dolby Theatre on Monday, April 13, 2015. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

(Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

I know everyone loves the Nerdist podcast, and The Talking Dead also has a big name for itself, but my favorite of Hardwick’s shows is actually @Midnight, a points-based game show he hosts and which I became addicted to in no small part because he consistently features a funny, diverse group of comedians.

And of course I’m good friends with Lydia Hearst. I mean, I took a tour of Hearst Castle when I was nine. And I had a good heart-to-heart with a security guard there about why I couldn’t go swimming in the pool. So I assume Lydia heard about that and I’ll be getting an invite to the wedding any day.

In the unlikely event I don’t get to attend, I thought I’d just go ahead and plan the wedding I’d like to see them have:

Location

HearstCastle

Hearst Castle. Duh.

Officiated by

RonF 2

Ron Funches, everyone’s favorite @Midnight contestant.

Vows

chrishardw 2

Will be recorded, include an in-depth portion on their careers, lives, hopes, and dreams, and then be broadcast on Nerdist.

Toasts

Written in the style of a Yelp review for the happy couple. “The groom is good-looking, an engaging speaker, and takes nerd culture super seriously and with a lot of sincerity. Five stars for true love.”

First dance

Michael Jackson’s Thriller. You just don’t have a Chris Hardwick wedding without some kind of zombie influence, I assume.
Theme

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(Quick California history lesson: In 2014, the Hearsts were the sixth richest family in the US, with a net worth of $35 billion!)

After Party

hearstcastlepool 2

(I wonder if their position on letting tour groups go swimming has changed…)

What else should be at this wedding? Aside from yourself catching the money bouquet, which Rachel already called dibs on. Flip on those fantasy wedding switches I know you have lurking in your mind and tell us: what would you want to see?

Sara Kendall lives in Redwood City with her husband and dog. Her main hobbies are coffee, books, and musicals.

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