So you got engaged, you and your fiancé have spent a couple weeks basking in the glow of happiness, and now you’re coming out of the haze and realizing you need to plan a wedding (did anyone else just think, Oh, sugar?) While I’m sure there are five dozen different ways to take a concrete first step, I’m going to definitively declare a clear winner here:
Destination weddings aren’t for everyone. The sun, the umbrellas in the cocktails, not to mention hanging out with your friends and family nonstop for a few days — ugh, sounds terrible! Ok I’m (mostly) kidding. But seriously, if you dream about picking the right texture of frosting for your caramel frappuccino chocolate cake and are excited by the challenge of finding a third gluten-free, vegan appetizer
In today's edition of “the patriarchy hurts us all,” let's look at how one-sided wedding jewelry has been since the middle ages. Did you know men didn't even regularly wear wedding bands until the 20th century?
But now in century 21, thanks to the rising spread of equality and the slowly-being-chipped-away wall of traditional gender roles, we've arrived at a really simple, really basic concept about wedding and engagement rings: if you want to wear them, you should, and if you don't want to, you shouldn't. Moment of silence for how long it took us to reach this conclusion.
I was really sure that being married would feel the same as not being married. But in reality, I can't believe how different my relationship is. It shouldn't be, logically speaking. We'd dated for five years before tying the knot. We'd lived together for two of them. We'd had our dog for a year. After we got married, we came home to the same apartment and the life we'd already built. It was all very familiar. But it was different. It was better. Here’s a few more things that happened after I got married that I truly didn’t expect.
Before we get into the history of the rings, let’s just say this upfront: getting married doesn’t actually require fancy jewelry. If you want rings, great. If you want bracelets, great. If you want nothing, great. If you want to celebrate your commitment to each other by going skydiving and then signing some papers at the end, GREAT (ps: if you did this, can we watch your wedding video? That sounds amazing). But for everyone curious about the difference between a wedding band and an engagement ring, this post is for you.
Picking bridesmaids was the easiest part of my wedding planning process. I'm an introvert, and at the time of my wedding, I had exactly three close friends plus a soon-to-be sister-in-law (there really should be a shorter term for that relation). Boom. Done. My husband, on the other hand, will someday write a book called, “Why Aren't There More People At This Party: How to survive in a world where you can only invite a thousand people to everything.”
I met a newly engaged friend for drinks recently, and the first words out of his mouth were, “Last summer I texted a bride two days before her wedding to tell her I couldn’t make it. I have just learned how much that probably cost her.” A ton of people get engaged between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day, so if you’re one of them, let us be the first to welcome you into the wide world of Things You’re About to Learn About Weddings.
I really didn't want to write my own wedding vows. Our enormous wedding already had about fifty things that were stressing me out (giant guest list, two days of activities to plan, and the sheer number of tablecloths we were going to need to name a few), and I just didn't see “put all your thoughts about why you want to love this one person forever into a two-minute speech” as an enjoyable addition to my to-do list.
When my husband and I got married, we had a huge initial hurdle: we didn't share a religion, and we had no idea who to ask to officiate our wedding. That's actually how I met Angie and Alicia (hi, guys!). They wrote a gorgeous ceremony that left plenty of room for all the religious traditions we wanted to incorporate, and they saved us from an ongoing nightmare scenario we dreamed up where no one in the entire world could marry us.
On September 12th, Chris Hardwick, of Nerdist fame, got engaged to Lydia Hearst, model and actress of...Hearst fame. It’s my favorite celeb pairing of all time.
I know everyone loves the Nerdist podcast, and The Talking Dead also has a big name for itself, but my favorite of Hardwick’s shows is actually @Midnight, a points-based game show he hosts and which I became addicted to in no small part because he consistently features a funny, diverse group of comedians.
And of course, I’m good friends with Lydia Hearst. I mean, I took a tour of Hearst Castle when I was nine.
I’ve done the maid of honor thing from both sides of the aisle: I’ve been one and I’ve asked someone to be mine. So I know the costs add up fast between a dress, shoes, maybe a plane ticket, a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, the time it takes to organize all of the above… you know what? I’m gonna stop there. It’s not just pricey, it’s also a ton of work, and I hope your best buddy is super crazy grateful for all the time and effort and money you’re putting into being there for them. For moments when the stress is getting to you, I’ve compiled the major benefits to keep you sane: You get to taste all the things.
