So let me get this straight. I’ve bought the engagement ring (cha-ching), the wedding band (to match the conflict-free diamond, of course), put a nauseatingly large down payment on a nearby venue, cobbled together a hefty deposit for DJ mix-a-lot, and watched in horror as my checking account is subjected to the blunt force trauma of vendor fees...and I’m expected to buy a WEDDING GIFT FOR THE DAY OF THE WEDDING TOO?!?!
This stone, I daresay, has no more blood to give (nearly fainting from exhaustion).
Before your conniption takes hold and you call off the wedding entirely, it’s important to understand the origin of this custom, its purpose, and why some may choose to continue this practice even today.
Truth be told, it’s a common custom to give your betrothed a gift on your wedding day. Throughout the millennia of human existence, weddings have served social, anthropological, religious, even political purposes. Simply put, a gift, especially on the day of the wedding, is a symbolic offering of something, or things, of value between one family and another. Many cultures exemplify this gift in the form of a dowry, and in some cultures a dowry is required for a wedding to even take place. In many Western-style weddings, this tradition has transformed into the exchange of a small gift between soon-to-be spouses.
Just as nobody appreciates that guy (or gal) who brings a box of two-buck chuck to a friend’s fancy dinner party—can you say obligatory, last-minute, and impersonal?—nobody appreciates a wedding gift on the day of the nuptials which reeks of absentmindedness, impulsivity, and the tequilería vending machine from the bachelor party the night before.
We should all strive for something better. Our soon-to-be-spouse deserves it.
A wedding gift on the day of your wedding is your opportunity to convey a meaningful message of love, support, even humor prior to the start of the inevitable chaos of guests, vendors, drama, and in-laws yet to come.
Photo by Ekaterina Shevchenko on Unsplash
A few tips to get you started:
Thoughtful is the way to go. Know your partner before you buy.
Include a card with a few sincere thoughts or inside jokes—nothing breaks the tension of pre-wedding jitters like a funny Hallmark card and a sweet message from a fiancé.
Planning is key. Buy in advance. Amazon is great but unexpected snowstorm shipping delays are not.
So what did I do for my own wedding gift, you ask? Frankly, I had a difficult time getting a gift for my wife on our wedding day. With ideas a-buzzing but little time to shop—as wedding planning had left me bereft of any free time (or money for that matter)—I frantically searched for the perfect gift.
Now, to give you a little bit of context, one of my wife’s biggest anxieties as we embarked upon our new life was the weightiness of starting a family together—not necessarily having kids, but the gravitas of having to crush it at work, be a kick-ass wife, win Mom of the Year, attend the PTA meetings, etc. Life, she regularly noted, was complicated, and seemed to get more so as time went on. “Life’s not a game,” she would occasionally remind me. “Oh, but it is,” I often retorted, which inevitably brought a smile to her face.
As my mind raced when considering what to get her, I kept coming back to this idea of reiterating the playfulness and fun our life together had thus far embodied. Additionally, I wanted to assuage her fear of the unknown. So, the gift I settled on was unique, funny, and most importantly, it was a special testament to how with each other’s help we can play the best game of Life possible.
I bought her a Tamagotchi. Yep, you read that right!
I included a card of course—because I’m not a complete animal—entitled “Baby Steps.” It explained how we’d start with something small and manageable, graduate to a puppy, and maybe have a family of our own someday. I found out later from her maid of honor that she had to redo her eye makeup after reading it.
Gifts between partners on the day of your wedding need not be expensive, lavish, or ornate; rather, they should be meaningful, thoughtful, and uplifting. A personal message, an attentive gift, or a simple token of love is all you need.
A gift prior to the wedding to sets the stage for the nuptials which lay ahead, sealing the promise of betrothal with a symbolic artifact. This icon of love incarnate can take any form or fashion (just as mine did). Above all, it ought to reflect something reassuring and personal, offering an opportunity to fill the nervous pre-wedding air with joy and love.
What we discovered only later was that it’s impossible to keep a Tamagotchi alive for more than 10 days—but heck, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Happy hunting!
Writer Eric is a U.S. Air Force veteran and lover of all things history. He enjoys sushi, superhero movies, and the thrill of a good taco truck. When he’s not writing, he’s gallivanting around the world hoping to discover something profound and new amongst all the clutter.
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